>Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2000 10:09:44 -0800 (PST)
>X-Sender: rfeibusch@pop.loop.com
>Mime-Version: 1.0
>To: morris@autox.team.net
>From: rfeibusch@loop.com (Richard Feibusch)
>Subject: Changing Oil - Men vs. Women
>Cc: british-cars@autox.team.net, mg-t@autox.team.net, riley@autox.team.net,
> british-cars-pre-war@autox.team.net, minor-list@poundbury.co.uk,
> chapman-era@autox.team.net
>Sender: owner-morris@autox.team.net
>Precedence: bulk
>X-Rcpt-To: pixelsmith@gerardsgarage.com
>
>Subject: Changing Oil
>
>Women:
>1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last
>oil change.
>2. Drink a cup of coffee and read the newspaper.
>3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
>maintained vehicle.
>
>
>Men:
>1. Go to the auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
>filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree air
>freshener.
>2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking
>back to the auto store to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
>3. Open a beer and drink it.
>4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for the jack stands.
>5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>7. Place drain pan under engine.
>8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get mildly burned and get hot
>oil all over everything.
>12. Clean up.
>13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
>16. Beer.
>17. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change
>tomorrow.
>18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
>19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
>20. Beer. DAMN!, drank it all yesterday.
>21. Walk to 7-11; buy more beer.
>22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil
>to gasket first.
>23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>24. Remember drain plug from step 11?
>25. Look for drain plug in pan of dirty oil.
>26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the quart of fresh oil
>completely drains onto the garage floor.
>27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
>28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
>29. Begin swearing fit.
>30. Throw wrench.
>31. Swear for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
>December(1992) in the left breast.
>32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>33. Beer.
>34. Beer.
>35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>36. Beer.
>37. Lower car from jack stands
>38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh
>oil spilled during step 23.
>40. Drive car quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another
>oil change.
>
G G Gerard Chateauvieux
E A
R R pixelsmith@gerardsgarage.com
A A
R G Pixelsmith on Duty
D E
S http://www.gerardsgarage.com
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