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Finally, one that we can believe

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Finally, one that we can believe
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 10:44:17 -0500
Cc: team-thicko@autox.team.net
> Dear Friends,  Forgive me for blanketing the list with this, but I felt
> that those of  us who throw away money on chachkas as stupid as little
> cars and driving in circles going vrooom-vrooom out to examine our
> consciences and perhaps open our hearts to the less fortunate.  I will
> accept Paypal if the program seems too complicated, and you can be assured
> every penny will go to Billy. 
> 
> This is a passionate plea for all your help... Please, for little Billy
> Evans, who wrote: 
> 
>  am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I 
> can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says 
> it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't
> answer 
> and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that any more. 
> 
> The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a
> body. 
> It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an 
> artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said 
> that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or 
> insurance. 
> 
> I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.  Mommy 
> doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't 
> cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs,
> even 
> though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her
> real 
> bad. 
> 
> I hope you will help me. You can help me if you mindlessly forward this 
> email to everyone you know. Mindlessly forward it to people you don't
> know, 
> too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to,
> Bill 
> Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, 
> NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have
> the 
> astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them
> better. 
> 
> Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up
> a 
> collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors 
> could help me get better, then. Maybe one day I will be able to play 
> baseball. Right now I can only be third base. 
> 
> Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer
> 
> to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. 
> Mommy is so sad. I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I
> turn 10. 
> 
> If you don't want to forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a 
> mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with 
> only a head. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five 
> freakin' minutes to mindlessly forward this to all your friends so that
> they 
> can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old
> boy? 
> Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I 
> wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew
> on 
> me and try to bury its shit in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that
> very much. 
> 
> Thank You, 
> Billy "Smiles" Evans (the boy with just a head, and a burlap sack for a
> body) 

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