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Idiots...no LBC

To: spridgets@autox.team.net, midgetsprite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Idiots...no LBC
Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 11:13:27 EST
> IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
> This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the
> telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00
> a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller
> time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to
> call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he
> would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He
> also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR
> email work without a telephone line?).
> 
> IDIOTS AT WORK:
> I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
> clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the
> credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the
> transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she
> explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had
> just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front
> of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had
> just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
> 
> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
> the local township administrative office to request the removal
> of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer
> were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there
> anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these
> people...
> 
> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
> asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He
> said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
> 
> IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
> employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
> your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my
> knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded,
> "That's why we ask."
> 
> IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
> street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if
> I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
> people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
> earth are blind people doing driving?"
> 
> IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is
> leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
> cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a
> word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-
> in-the-headlights stare.
> 
> IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
> itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system
> would not turn on.
> 
> IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
> up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went
> to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
> to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger
> side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that
> it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's
> open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."


Robert Houston
Santa Teresa, NM
'74 Midget
63 TR4
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