Some things I think you gents ought to kow
> > Subject: Classes for Men
> >
> > Classes for men at our local Learning Center for
> > Adults - Sign-up by
> > November 30th, 2003
> >
> > NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level
> of
> > their content, each
> > course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.
> >
> > TOPIC 1
> > HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS
> > Step by step, with slide presentation.
> >
> > TOPIC 2
> > THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE
> HOLDERS?
> > Round table discussion.
> >
> > TOPIC 3
> > IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
> > LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND
> > AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
> > Group Practice.
> >
> > TOPIC 4
> > FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER
> > AND THE FLOOR.
> > Pictures and explanatory graphics.
> >
> > TOPIC 5
> > THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY
> > LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE
> > KITCHEN SINK?
> > Examples on Video.
> >
> > TOPIC 6
> > LOSS OF IDENTITY : LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING
> > OTHERS TO USE IT.
> > Help line support and support groups.
> >
> > TOPIC 7
> > LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING
> > IN THE RIGHT PLACE
> > INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE
> > SCREAMING.
> > Open forum.
> >
> > TOPIC 8
> > HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL
> TO
> > YOUR HEALTH.
> > Graphics and audio tape.
> >
> > TOPIC 9
> > REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
> > Real life testimonials.
> >
> > TOPIC 10
> > IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE
> > PARALLEL PARKS?
> > Driving simulation.
> >
> > TOPIC 11
> > LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING
> > ALONE OR WITH OTHERS.
> > Online classes and role playing.
> >
> > TOPIC 12
> > HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
> > Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing
> > techniques.
> >
> > TOPIC 13
> > HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING
> > BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER
> > IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
> BE
> > LATE .
> > Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full
> lobotomies
> > offered.
> >
> > TOPIC 14
> > CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:
> > Practice on developing skills of putting things
> back
> > where they belong so
> > that they can be easily found.
> >
> > Upon completion of each course, diplomas will be
> > issued to any survivors.
> >
> >
> > BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES --
> >
> > BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF
> >
> > OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED
> TO
> > MARRY!
> >
> > GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT
> > SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND
> > IN HIGH HEELS
> >
> > A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
> > STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT
> > HER IN HOT WATER
> >
> > I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO
> > COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A
> > CAREER
> >
> > SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME
> >
> > COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST
> > BETTER RICH
> >
> > DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE
> > QUEEN
> >
> > I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN
> >
> > WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE
> IT
> >
> >
> > OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE
> > FIRST TIME
> >
> > DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN
> >
> > ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE
> >
> > I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO
> BAD
> > PEOPLE
> >
> > HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
> >
> > DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE
> > THE BODIES
> >
> > And last but not least:
> >
> > IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
>
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