APPLICATION FOR WHITE HOUSE INTERNSHIP
- Submitted by John Boyance
----------------------------------------
Greetings prospective White House interns!
This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing
America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the
"Head Man" do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting
one yet!
Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this
demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political
scene of the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from
a former intern:
"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering
phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. ...
Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just fantastic."
- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.
As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours,
hot debates and touchy national issues.
Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it back to
the White House at president@whitehouse.gov
Name:
Hometown:
Sex: F__ Age:
Measurements: (required for medical purposes) How many beers it takes
to get you...
...Giggly:
...Drunk:
...Hot:
...To lie to a federal prosecutor:
Quick quiz:
You've always considered the White House:
a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet
c) vaguely erotic
d) extremely erotic
Hillary Clinton is a(n):
a) model wife and mother
b) icon of late 20th century femininity
c) an obstacle
d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world
You've always wanted to know more about the President's:
a) MidEast policies
b) childhood in Hope, Ark
c) romper room
d) "monument to democracy"
My social life as an intern would likely consist of:
a) hitting Georgetown bars with the other interns
b) reading, study
c) late nights working at the White House
d) late nights working the White House
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call
soon.
Uncle Sam (and Uncle Bill) wants you.
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might
be interested in this program. The White House is an equal
opportunity abuser.
|