> How To Shower Like A Woman
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to
> lights and darks.
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend
> /husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
that
> you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
> 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth,
long,loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.
> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins.
> 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins.
> 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
with
> natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
red
> raw.
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as
you
> must make sure that it has all come off).
> 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
get it
> waxed instead.
> 12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you
lose
> the water pressure.
> 13. Turn off shower.
> 14. Squeegy off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African
country.
> Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
> 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
> nails/tweezers if found.
> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> 18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed
> body parts and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting
> dressed.
>
>
> How To Shower Like A Man
>
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a
> pile on the floor.
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the
way,
> flash her making the "woo" sound.
> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
if
> you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror, scratch
your
> balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
> 4. Get in the shower.
> 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)
> 6. Wash your face
> 7. Wash your armpits
> 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
> 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
> 10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
> 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
> 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
> 3. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
> 14. Pee (in the shower).
> 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
floor
> because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time.
> 16. Partial dry off.
> 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire dick size.
> 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
> 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on.
> 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your
> girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah baby" and
> thrust your pelvis at her.
> 21.Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed
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