> >>
> >> As you know, Barbie is fast approaching forty. Now, at long
last,
> >> here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging
> >> gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
> >>
> >> 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
fashion
> >> frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and
> >> large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
> >>
> >> 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her
face
> >> turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her
> >> forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
> >>
> >> 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see
her
> >> whiskers grow. Available with >teensy tweezers and magnifying
> >> mirror.
> >>
> >> 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new,
> >> roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too -
muumuus
> >> with tummy-support panels are included.
> >>
> >> 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
> >> definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet.
Soothe
> >> her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft
> >> terry mules.
> >>
> >> 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and
lip
> >> lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own
line
> >> of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
> >>
> >> 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is
> >> really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to
> >> root for Babs and Ken,Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue
or
> >> white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
> >>
> >> 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs
a
> >> change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor
> >> ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red
Miata
> >> and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real
tape
> >> of "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do."
> >>
> >> 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
> >> Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
> >>
> >> 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
with
> >> the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of
dance
> >> steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.
Comes
> >> with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
> >>
> >> 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
> >> sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
> >> sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube,
> >> clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.
> >> As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your
Inner Self"
> is included.
>
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