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Re: jokes

To: spaceley@uiuc.edu, team-thicko@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: jokes
From: NeotoyRick@aol.com
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 16:47:52 EST
Yep - its started.  Here's some technology for the list:

http://www.sciencenews.org/20021005/note10ref.asp

In a message dated 10/30/02 3:38:08 PM, spaceley@uiuc.edu writes:

<< OHGODNOTAGAIN!

Some of us have painful memories of the last time someone started a 
sheep string on this list.


>A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
>Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
>Indian: "Dog don't talk."
>Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
>Dog: "Doin' all right."
>Indian: (Look of shock!)
>Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (pointing at the Indian)
>Dog: "Yep."
>Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
>Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
>me
>to the lake once a week to play."
>Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
>Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
>Indian: "Horse no talk."
>Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
>Horse: "Cool."
>Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
>Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the Indian)
>Horse: "Yep."
>Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
>Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me brushes me down
>often,
>and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements."
>Indian: (Look of total amazement)
>Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
>Indian: "Sheep lie."
>
>
>********************************
>
>A man buys  several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.  After 
>several weeks, he notices that  none of the sheep are getting 
>pregnant, and calls a vet for help.
>The vet tells him that he should try artificial  insemination.  The 
>farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means  but, not 
>wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know 
>when the sheep are pregnant.The vet tells  him that they will stop 
>standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in  grass when 
>they are pregnant.
>The man hangs up and gives it some thought.He comes to the 
>conclusion that artificial  insemination means he has to impregnate 
>the sheep.
>So, he loads the sheep into his Landrover, drives them out  into
>the woods, hassex with them all, brings them back and goes to 
>bed.Next  morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.
>Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the 
>first try didn't take, and loads them in the Landrover again. He 
>drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for  good 
>measure brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to 
>find the  sheep still just standing around.
>One more try, he tells himself, and  proceeds to load them up and 
>drive them out to the woods.He spends all day shagging the sheep 
>and, upon returning  home, falls listlessly into bed.
>The next morning, he cannot even raise  himself from the bed to 
>lookat the sheep.He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the 
>sheep are lying in the grass.
>"No," she says, "they're all in the
>Landrover and one of them is beeping the horn."




-- 
Scott Paceley
spaceley@uiuc.edu  * 217-333-8759  *  Champaign, IL
graphic design, photography, digital imaging >>

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