A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is
the beginning of a new argument.
A woman seeks equality until she sees the advantage of the red tees.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries
about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries
a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap and a towel. The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man cannot identify most of them.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item
that she doesn't need.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will admit they want change.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings & funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.
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