-some are so loaded with chattering squirrels that nothing of any value can be
heard when your near them.
-the older the tree is the more fetilizer it requires
-when they fall on you it hurts
-if you don't watch out you can run into one and it will give you a bloody nose
-many women hang their skirts on the branches only to see the wind blow then
from branch to branch
-they tend to have sex with their own kind
-nothing grows underneath a large one
______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________
Subject: Re: FW: Management and trees humor
Author: Phil LeBrun at ~HII-SJC
Date: 7/1/96 2:18 PM
I have passed lots of tiger stuff to a friend. The following is my reward:
==========
A Management Structure is often referred to as a tree. This is an accurate
description for the following reasons:
- It is made almost entirely of wood.
- Parts of it can be dead for years before they drop off.
- If a branch falls off, most of the parasites move back to the main
structure.
- It takes years to react to any environmental change.
- A large one can transpire hundreds of gallons of liquid in a day.
- It sometimes carries a great many nuts.
- If not pruned regularly it will not bear much fruit.
- Small pieces which are chopped off often grow again in a few years.
- It can be fired, but usually needs lots of paper to get it going.
- It may provide shelter for those underneath, but also blocks out most of
the light.
- From the top one can see for miles in all directions, except vertically
downward.
- Anything heavy dropped from the top reaches the bottom quickly; the
intervening layers merely delay it slightly.
- Parts of it can be used to make boards (of varying thickness) but unless
properly seasoned the quality will be poor.
- It bends easily in light winds but in storms it is rarely flexible enough
to avoid damage.
- It sometimes gets the chop, but usually only after it has been dead or
rotten for years.
- Monkeys can get to the top with remarkable speed.
- A man falling from the upper levels can often grab a lower branch to
break
his fall, but a man falling from lower levels goes straight to the
ground.
- Sometimes one can move from tree to tree without touching the ground.
One
can travel thus for considerable distances eventually reaching a point at
which one has absolutely no knowledge of the ground below.
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