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Automobile Acronym Humor

To: "'tigers'" <tigers@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Automobile Acronym Humor
From: Bennett Cullen <p21988@gegpo8.geg.mot.com>
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 97 10:54:00 MST
Hi Group,
Just thought I would pass along a little Automobile Acronym / Humor.

Cullen Bennett B9472658
####################################
ACURA
 Awful,Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
 Automobile Causes Unusual Road Accidents
 All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
 Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
 Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?

AUDI
 Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
 All Users Die Inside

BMW
 Babbling Mechanical Wench
 Beastly Monstrous Wonder
 Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
 Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
 Big Money Waste
 Big Money Works
 Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
 Born Moderately Wealthy.
 Break My Windows
 Broken Money Waster
 Broken Monstrous Wonder
 Brutal Money Waster
 Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
 Blasphemized Motorized Wreck
 Bastard Money Wielders

BUICK
 Big Ugly Import Car Killer
 Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
 Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean

CAMARO
 Can't America Make A Real One?

CHEVROLET
 Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
 Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time

CHEVY
 Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

CHRYSLER
 Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
 Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

CITROEN
 Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

DODGE
 Dying Garbage Emitter
 Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere

DATSUN
 Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips

FERRARI
 Fairly Expensive Repairs Required At Regular Intervals
 Frighteningly Expensive Repairs Required At Random Intervals

FIAT
 Failure in Automotive Technology
 Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
 Fix It Again, Tony
 Fix It All the Time

FORD
 First On Recall Day
 Fix Or Repair Daily
 Found On Road Dead
 Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
 (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GMC
 Garage Man's Companion
 Generally Mediocre Cars
 Got More Crap
 Got Mechanic Coming

HONDA
 Helping Out Nips Destroying America
 How Odd - No Damn Acceleration
 Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile

IROC
 It's Really Only a Camaro

JEEP
 Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
 Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
 Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
 Jumps Everything Ever Parked

LOTUS
 Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious
 Lots of Trouble, Usually 'Spensive
 Leave Off The Unnecessary Stuff
 Lots Of Terrific Undersized Sportscars.
 Lightweight Obscure Tiny Unreliable Sportscars.

MAZDA
 Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
 Making A Zillion Dollars Annually

MOPAR
 Mostly Old Parts And Rust
 Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars

NISSAN
 Now In Some Shitty Automobile Nightmare
 Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon

OLDSMOBILE
 Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
 Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
 Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PINTO
 Put In New Transmission Often

PLYMOUTH
 Please Let Your Mother Out <from> Under The Hood!

PONTIAC
 Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadillac
 Pile Of Nuts Thrown In A Can

PORSCHE
 Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
 Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
 Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

RENAULT
 Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

SAAB
 Swedish Automobile - Always Broken

SUBARU
 Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium

TOYOTA
 Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All

TRIUMPH
 The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

VW
 Very Worthless

STP
 Stop Those Pistons.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A: A tow truck.

Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
A: Passengers.

Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.

Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
A: Push it over a cliff.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said,
"I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo."
The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."


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