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Merger News (non Tiger Content)

To: Tigers <tigers@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Merger News (non Tiger Content)
From: "Cullen Bennett" <Cullen_Bennett-P21988@email.mot.com>
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 09:51:47 -0700
Hi to all,
Since some folk seem to think that needs to be more posts and this does
have some automotive content... here goes nothing.
Cullen in Tempe AZ (B9472658)

Subject: Merger News

Directors at Daimler Benz and
Chrysler have announced an agreement to
adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than
German, which was the other obvious possibility.

As part of the negotions, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English
spelling has some room for imporvement and has accepted a 5 year phase
in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".

Also the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear
up konfusion, but komputers kan have 1 less letter. There will be grown
kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replased by "f". this will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent
shorter.

In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are
possible.

Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"

with "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords
kontaining "ou", and similiar shanges vud of kors be aplid to al ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and employes vil find it ezi to komunikat viz
ech ozer.

Ov korse al supliers vil be expekted to svitsh to zis for all busines
kominikation via Daimler-Khrysler.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.



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