Gentlemen,
Dr. Palmer as asked me to represent him in this legal matter. In addition
to your tort, I should inform you that several other parties are also
claiming related injuries, including Messrs. Hall, Martin, Akuszewski, Ms.
K. Foster, several owners of recently "TAC'd" vintage automobiles known as
"Sunbeam Tigers", and the entire membership of an auto enthusiasts club
know as "STOA". In the interests of efficiency, it is suggested that this
matter be handled as a class action suit.
Since the basis of your complaints are that Dr. Palmer has slandered you
publicly by distorting the truth, I anticipate that most of you will be
subpoenaed for your depositions in the initial discovery phase, the purpose
of which is to determine the true and complete facts relating to the
incidents described in Dr. Palmer's e-mail communications under the subject
"SAC" and variations thereof. We may allow some of you (e.g., Mr. C. Cobb)
to give their depositions via electronic mail because of the distances
involved.
I must also inform you that any further threats to Dr. Palmer of physical
harm or public humiliation will be taken as grounds for a counter-suit.
Litigiously yours,
Roscoe B. Tratin
Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe
At 04:12 PM 7/8/98 +0100, Steve Laifman wrote:
>
>A day late, and a dollar short, I'm afraid. The slander and liable suits
have
>already been filed. I believe the injured patties might accept a
>settlement, offered in good faith. Say 16 oz. each of folding money, 90
proof
>whiskey, and rare flesh (animal not cannibal). A public ritual humiliation,
>involving domesticated animals, might be added for lack of promptness.
>
>Steve (Assigned Arbitrator)
>--
>Steve Laifman < One first kiss, >
>B9472289 < one first love, and >
> < one first win, is all >
> < you get in this life. >
>
>
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