Maybe not quite as good, Tim, but REALLY close second according to my
Itatuna laugh-o-meter.
Rick Hoefle
still chuckling
-----Original Message-----
From: Timothy Beloney [mailto:TBeloney@wyse.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 1998 2:21 PM
To: alpines@autox.team.net; tigers@autox.team.net
Subject: FW: Racing Story - no Sunbeam content
This doesn't quite compare to the Chevy Sprint story (can someone forward
that to me again?), but if you live in California (particularly in the S.F.
or L.A. areas) you can relate. It makes for an even better visual if you
s*bstitute in your Alpine or Tiger for the Ferrari.
Tim
-----Original Message-----
From: Greg Mah [mailto:gmah@kss.com] <mailto:[mailto:gmah@kss.com]>
Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 1998 11:03 AM
To: Isao Tomonari; Andy Broer; Glen Kumamoto; Jimmy Yeung; Ken Leong;
Kevin Lee; Pat Donaldson; Patrick Cheung; Tim Beloney; Greg Lee
Subject: Racing Story
I found this racing story on the Honda NG. I was amused. Check it out:
Greg
---------------------------------
I was coming back from doing my groceries and stopped to pick up some 300
Lbs of sand for my kid's backyard sandlot. Then picked up my kids (all six
of them in the backseat) and my wife and my in-laws and my parents. I was in
my stock '91 Civic DX with supermodified Hodaliv shocks and Shiloor widget
running on a hyper modified mixture of 87 octane gas and some STP I found in
the bottom of a can in the back of the garage.
This crappy '98 Ferrari pulls up to the side of me while I was waiting for
the light to turn green.
Did I mention that my car had a custom Thocus steering wheel ?
It was your standard F-50 Ferrari, nothing special - 4.7L
V12 putting out about 512 HP on a good day. The FG (Ferrari Guy) looks at me
and revs his engine.
That's it ! I removed the plastic sheet that I was using for a window (gives
enhanced aerodynamic performance - according to Kalades Racing manual) and
said, "You sure ?". Didn't want the dude to feel bad if I smoked him. You
know what I mean, right ?
He revved his engine, I revved mine. "Daddy ! Can you turn on the AC ? We
are hot back here !", cried my 4 year old. So I did.
The FG was now gunning his engine like there's no tomorrow ! My eyes turned
to a steely gaze and my blood became Ice. I was in racing mode ! "Oh, I
meant to tell you", says my wife, "the front left tire had a flat so it has
the tiny spare tire on it".
"Shit !", I thought to myself, "that will probably knock of a few
milliseconds". But I figured that my Molriha exhaust and Lugibot brakes
should compensate.
My hands were twitching now. My right foot lay poised above the accelerator
like a tiger. My right hand was on the stick shift - ready to slam it into
D4 and take off like the wind.
Then in a flash, the light turned to green. I clearly had the dude in the
first 3 to 4 inches, then ever so slowly he gained on me and by the time we
were in the 7th inch, he was ahead !! I could not believe it ! To think I
spent $1.95 on the Moomala faux-wax polish.
By the time I was in the middle of the intersection, this guy was gone ! I
could see the red blot of a Ferrari about a few miles away. Damn ! All those
stickers did Jack for the performance of my refined automobile. But truth be
told, I was doing 60 in 34 seconds, my best time ever. The Quarter mile came
shortly thereafter (few minutes later... OK, 8.32 minutes later) and the
half mile followed the quarter, the three quarter followed the half and so
on...
Next time, I will tell you about how (with the very same car) I blew all 18
wheels off a semi.
Till then, Keep on racing...
-Sriram
ps : Did I mention that my car had original QueRoux plastic wheel covers
(available at Wal-Mart for $0.99 per dozen) ?
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