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inquiry 072999a

To: "National Corporation (E-mail)" <tigers@autox.team.net>
Subject: inquiry 072999a
From: "Wright, Larry" <larry.wright@usop.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 07:40:14 -0400
Tim Jordan wrote:
>Larry,
>Here, Here!
>I'm still laughing.  Flares and a large hole in the hood to 
>clear the 800 cfm carb. will also assist a lowball appraisal.

        800 cfm? Just one, not a pair on a tunnel-ram manifold? Hey,
let's compose a list of "ten best ways to lower the value of a Tiger's
appraisal". Perhaps we can get Mark down to $00.00 if we try. The only
rule is no rust, dents or other "damage".
        How about:
        a) beige paint.
        b) 245/35SR-13 tires on bolt-on chrome wire wheels that have
_no_ backspacing
        c) doors converted to the 'laydown' type (most of us last saw
this on the Corvair Rampside pickup)
        d) captain's chairs, preferably in brown velour
        e) decal on the rear window of the hardtop of a little boy
urinating on, say, a police car
        f) if that hardtop was severely padded and the rear window was
reduced to 4"x6", limousine style
        g) Tigerossa kit, with huge box flares and cheese-grater slats
on the side
        h) large, illuminated stand-up hood ornament
        i) the "I won a spending spree at Joe's House of Louvers" look;
ventilated hood, fenders, doors, maybe even fuel tanks
        j) Powerglide with column shift
        k) h*ll, a Chevy 350 to go with it
        l) chain-link steering wheel, perhaps with matching license
plate frames
        m) reshaped fenders to accept rectangular headlights
        n) 'shaved' door handles and solenoids (oh, yeah, gonna trust
Lucas electric to get your doors open???)
        o) replace the underhood seal with ball fringe; think of it as
engine-compartment tuft testing
        p) welded-on wheelie bars
        q) monochromatic scheme: body-colored bumpers, door handles,
trunk hinges, windshield trim

        Apologies to anyone whose Tiger I've just described.

Lawrence R. Wright
"I can't get no-- Satis-Traction"

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