This is not a hoax... honest.... :^) pardon the band width... thought
this worth a Wednesday morning laugh...
THIS JUST ABOUT SUMS IT UP!!!!
In light of internet hoaxes...
I think this just about covers it...I was on my way to the post office to
pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to
five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman
numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home
recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual
chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them
change their name to KFC).Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he
awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over
and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN.
He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on
his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a
computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster
in which all of the computers get together and distribute the $250.00
Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true -
I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward
the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot when he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to
the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the
one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent
him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of
an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have
good luck but for 10 people only you will only have OK luck and if you send
it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So
anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way
he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he
flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms - if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will
get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse/mate
will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores
under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on your e-mails
forever.I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
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