Fruit Cake Recipe -- read carefully
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice
4 large eggs
lots of nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
First sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, then check
the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level
cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best
to make sure the vodka is still OK. Try another cup .... just in case.
Turn off the mixer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the
fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a
Sample the vodka to check for consisticity. Next, sift two cups of
Or something. Who gives a damn....
Check the vodka once more. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the
oven. Turn the cake tin to 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't
forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
window, finish the vodka and kick the cat. Fall into bed.
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