[Autox] FW: 12 Days of Cajun Chrismas

[Larry Steckel]

You have waited all year. And now its time for The Twelve Days of Cajun
Christmas.

>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, I found a hard copy of this hilarious takeoff in a
> file folder I was ready to throw away. Let it be my present to all the
> Team.Netters.
>
> 12 Days of Cajun Christmas
>
>
> Day 1 :. Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de pear tree. I fix it
> lasnight with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp,
> so I swap it for a Satsuma.
>
> Day 2 : Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I
> got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouile an made some
> gumbo out of dem.
>
> Day 3 : Dear Boudreaux, way doan you sent some crawfish? Im tired of
> eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie
> Trahan over at Gras Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie
> needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.
>
> Day 4 : Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more friggin birds! Deez
> four, what you call them calling birds were so noisy you could hear them
> all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps an fed the
> rest of dem to de gators.
>
> Day 5 : Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen somethin useful. I like dem golden
> rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and go enuf money to
> fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys a de RaisinCane
> Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!
>
> Day 6 : Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor
> egg suckin Phideaux is scared to death at dem six gaeases. He tried to eat
> dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eatin
> cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit erster dressing on Chrismas
> Day.
>
> Day 7 : Dear Boudreaux, Im gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you.
> Thibeau, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is
> stinkin up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue
> him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck
> hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow.
>
> Day 8 : Dear Boudreaux, poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his
> mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and their cows. One of dem cows
got
> spooked by da alligators an almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem
> siftless maids, me no. I tot dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping
> the shack but dey say it wasnt in dair contract. Dey probably think de too
> good ta skin nutrias I caught las night.
>
> Day 9 : Dear Boudreaux, what you trying to do huh? Thibeau had to borrow
> the Luther ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords a- Leaping
> across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with
> crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, Well La Di Da! You get
> Chickory coffee or nutin. Mon Dieu, Emile, what am I gonna feed all dese
> bozos? Dey too snotty for fried nutria, an de cows done eat my turnip
> greens.
>
> Day 10 : Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs of you mind! If de mailman
> dont kill you, I will fo sure! Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies
> from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be ladies Dancin, but dey doan act like
> ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got
bit
> by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed
> toute le monde an had to get toilet paper. The Sears Catalog wasnt good
> enuf for dose hoity toity Lords royal behin.
>
> Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where yat? Cherrio and pip pip. Your 11 pipers
> piping arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off
> de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished da whiskey and
> we having a fais-do-d0! Da new mailman he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel an
> he having a good time yeah dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off de
> Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious,
> ticking package in de mail, doan open it!
>
> Day 12 : Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love
> anymore, no. After da faisdo-do, I spnet de night with Jacque, de head
> piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemens club on de bayou. The
> floozies, pardon me, Ladies dancing can make $20.00 for a table dance, an
de
> Lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids doan have no
> more cows ta milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines,
> an run my sriping business. We will probably gross a million clams nex
year.
>
>
>
>
>
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