[Bmcu] Letter from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Tue Nov 13 11:10:08 MST 2012

Ron,
This has been circulating the internet for quite a few years (D. Cameron
was PM), but it is so cleverly written I always get a kick out of it.
 Perhaps there should be an item where QE II suggests that one need look no
further than Lotus for lightweight platforms on which to develop energy
efficient vehicles.  EV1 really was hardly an improvement on the Lotus
Elite and GM could have advanced their project by buying one.  We're all
well aware of the Tesla Roadster.  Elon Musk evidently drew upon Lotus'
experience with the Series 1 electric Elise done with Zytek.  The Dodge
guys also built an electric prototype based on a Lotus Europa, and the
recent Infinity Emerge-E is an Evora.  I think the ultimate efficiency
vehicle was the Opel Eco-Speedster diesel car which crushed speed and
energy records in 2007.  It was the oversized Elise chassis that eventually
became the Europa (not to be confused with the early Europa with the steel
backbone chassis.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvKYUM5NkWk

The Lotus Eleven was also an energy efficient racer.  The French banned it
because it kept winning the index of efficiency award, one which they were
accustomed to winning until the Eleven came along.

It tickles me to see the Caterham Seven still causing owners of all of the
latest supercars fits.  It was a glorious moment when the Superlight R500
beat the Bugatti Veyron around the Top Gear track.  I wonder if the R600
was built to beat the Veyron Super Sport time of 1:16.9 seconds and if the
Top Gear guys will let the Stig attempt it.

Bruce O.

On Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 9:26 AM, Ron Christensen
<ron.christensen at wsapr.com>wrote:

>  To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign
> Majesty Queen Elizabeth II****
>
> ** **
>
> In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
> for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves,****
>
> we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
> immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English
> Dictionary.)****
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
> over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which
> she does not fancy).****
>
> Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for
> America without the need for further elections.****
>
> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
> circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.****
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:****
>
> -----------------------****
>
> 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,'
> 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
> without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
> by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your
> vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').****
>
> ------------------------****
>
> 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
> as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let
> Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted
> to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of
> '-ize.'****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.****
>
> -----------------****
>
> 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
> or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
> that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
> shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
> speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.****
>
> ----------------------****
>
> 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
> dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if
> you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.****
>
> ----------------------****
>
> 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
> driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
> go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
> tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you****
>
> understand the British sense of humour.****
>
> --------------------****
>
> 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
> calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
> are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
> properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
> dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.****
>
> -------------------****
>
> 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
> beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
> beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
> to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for
> pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
> beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for
> them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so
> that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
> guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
> English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in
> Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears
> removed with a cheese grater.****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
> proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
> time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
> football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
> wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).****
>
> ---------------------****
>
> 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
> an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
> America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
> borders, your error is understandable. You will learn****
>
> cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the
> sting out of their deliveries.****
>
> --------------------****
>
> 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.****
>
> -----------------****
>
> 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
> due (backdated to 1776).****
>
> ---------------****
>
> 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with
> saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes;
> plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.****
>
> ** **
>
> God Save the Queen!****
>
> ** **
>
> PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT
> humor)!****
>
> ** **
>
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