[DMVR] Racing Truisms

[BSHolden at aol.com]

About Crew Chiefs:

The only three things a crew chief should ever say are:
1. I got the  ignition timing wrong.
2. I got the tire pressures wrong.
3. I'll take  the ugly chick.

...and during a race weekend, there are only three things the crew  chief
should ever say:

1. Great lap times!
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the  ugly chick.

As a new crew chief , I was told to say these three things, and otherwise
keep my mouth shut and not touch anything:
1. Ibll wax that car now.
2. I  would be happy to change those tires again.
3. I'll take the ugly  chick.

About Race Car Drivers:
1. You can't race forever without the risk of  death.

2. As a racer only two bad things can happen to you, and one of them  will:
a. One day you will strap in knowing that it is your last race.
b.  One day you will strap in not knowing that it is your last race.

3. There are Rules and there are Laws. The rules are made by people who
think that they know better how to drive your race car than you. The Laws (of
Physics) were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend
the
Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.

4. About rides with an instructor :
a. The only real objective of  the ride is to complete it and get the bastard
out of your race car.
b. It  has never occurred to any instructor that the instructee couldn't care
less what  the instructor's opinion of his driving ability really is.

5. The medical profession is the natural enemy of all race car drivers  when
it comes time for the annual physical.

6. It is absolutely imperative that the racer be unpredictable.
Rebelliousness is very predictable. In the end, conforming almost all the time
is the
best way to be unpredictable. (Refer to point 3)

7. One of the most important skills that a racer must develop is the  skill
to ignore those things that were designed by non-racers to get the drivers
attention.

8. Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box  for the
driver. Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it  off.

9. A tactic done twice is a procedure. (Refer to point 6)

10. One of the beautiful things about racing without a radio is the  quality
of the social experience.

11. A tech inspection ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be
interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

12. Speed is life. Situational awareness is life insurance.

13. It only takes two things to race: Divorce and money
.
14. The SCCA Rule Making Motto: "We're not HAPPY until you're not  HAPPY".

15. What is the difference between crew chiefs and race engines? The  engines
quit making noise when they get back to the paddock.

16. What are the two most dangerous things in racing?
A Doctor in a  Viper and a lawyer in a Mustang.

17. Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car and
oversteer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the car. Horsepower is how
fast
you hit the wall, torque is how far you take the wall with  you.