Subject: [JAGNUTS] newfie war

From: "M.E. & E.A. Driver" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:18:15 -0600

Ian

Take care we're in good hands

Kind regards
Ed

newfie war

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which
country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, President
Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp
Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to
tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

  "Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news!
   How big is your army?"

  "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation
"there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour
Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

  George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one
million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

   Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush,
the war is still  on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"

  "And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

  "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's
farm tractor."

  President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I
have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers.
Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we
last spoke."

"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be
getting back to ya."

  Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President
Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves
airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a
couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from
the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I
must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and
20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded
  by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
  since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"

"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call
youse back." Sure  enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I a sorry to have to tell you dat we have
had to call off dis 'ere war."

  "I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"

   "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down
and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to
realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

  CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN! --- LUV those
NEWFIES