[Shotimes] OT - Funny

[Paul L Fisher]

> > *Tips For Student Pilots*
> >
> > Tips for student pilots.
> >
> > 1.  Takeoffs are optional.  Landings are mandatory.
> >
> > 2.  If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger.  If you pull
> > the stick back, they get smaller.
> >
> > 3.  Flying isn't dangerous.  Crashing is dangerous.
> >
> > 4.  It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up
> > there wishing you were down here.
> >
> > 5.  The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
> >
> > 6.  The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
> > the pilot cool.  When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
> > sweating.
> >
> > 7.  When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.  No one has ever collided
> > with the sky.
> >
> > 8.  A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away.  A "great"
> > landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
> >
> > 9.  Learn from the mistakes of others.  You won't live long enough to
> > make all of them yourself.
> >
> > 10.  You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
> > taxi to the ramp.
> >
> > 11.  The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
> > of arrival.  Large angle of arrival equals a small probability of
> > survival -- and vice versa.
> >
> > 12.  Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
> > five minutes earlier.
> >
> > 13.  Stay out of clouds.  The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
> > might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
> >
> > 14.  Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
> > out in clouds.
> >
> > 15.  There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
> >
> > Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
> >
> > 16.  You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
> > The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of
> > luck.
> >
> > 17.  Keep looking around.  There's always something you've missed.
> >
> > 18.  If all you can see out of the windscreen is ground that's going
> > round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the
> > passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
> >
> > 19.  In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
> > hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the
> > ground has yet to lose.
> >
> > 20.  Good judgment comes from experience.  Unfortunately, experience
> > usually comes from bad judgment.
> >
> > 21.  It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
> > much as possible.
> >
> > 22.  There are old pilots and there are bold pilots.  There are,
> > however, no old, bold pilots.
> >
> > 23.  Remember, gravity is not just a good idea.  It's the law.  And it's
> > not subject to repeal.
> >
> > 24.  Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
> > number of takeoffs you've made.
> >
> > 25.  The three most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you,
> > runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
> >
> > And a bonus tip:
> >
> > Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.



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