[Shotimes] (OT) Bench racing...pilot style

[Ron Porter]

To lighten things up a bit, here's some OT from another discussion on
another car list.

Ron Porter

---------------------------------------------------

This is pretty amusing.  Have no idea if any of it is true, but still
amusing.  Something to enjoy as the mercury continues its dip here in the
Northeast....


In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll
always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my
back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high.
We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we
entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did
monitor our movement across their scope.

I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed." "90 knots" Center
replied. "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same." "120 knots,"
Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day
as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52
requests ground speed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the response,
"525 knots on the ground, Dusty."

"Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this
was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my
back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become
a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison."

"Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?"

There was a longer than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots".

No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, with
some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?

The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to
it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.

-------------------------------------

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of
the runway while a MD80 landed The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80
crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all by yourself?"

Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back
with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have
enough parts for another one."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a
B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded
seven-engine approach."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.  While attempting
to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"