[Shotimes] New car/New computer - FUNNY

[James F. Ryan III]

       For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
       affection for the way computers have enhanced our
       lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),
       Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
       with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
       with technology like the computer industry has, we
       would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles
       to the gallon".

       In response to Bill's comments, General Motors
       issued a press release stating: If GM had developed
       technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
       cars with the following characteristics ( and I just
       love this part):

       1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
       twice a day.

       2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
       you would have to buy a new car.

       3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
       for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of
       the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
       restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
       continue. For some reason you would simply accept
       this.

       4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
       turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
       restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
       engine.

       5.  Apple would make a car that was powered by
       the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
       easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of
       the roads.

       6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
       warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This
       Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

       7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?"
       before deploying.

       8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
       would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
       simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
       and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

       9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers
       would have to learn how to drive all over again
       because none of the controls would operate in the same
       manner as the old car.

       10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
       the engine off.


That last one has always been one of my biggest peeves.  When I used to be a
college professor I'd ask my students why they had to click the START button
to SHUT DOWN the PC.  No one could give me a good answer.  On Novell NetWare
servers, their Windows-like GUI had a similar button but they simply labeled
it "Novell".  I believe the Linux Gui Gnome has a similar button with a big
foot on it.  It's amazing how Microsoft has simultaneously helped to enrich
and stupify our society.  Not many people fix their own cars because they're
too complex.  Not many people play a musical instrument because they're too
complex.  Twenty years ago not many people used computrs because they were
too complex.  Nowadays almost evryone uses a computer, even morons, and it
hasn't made them any smarter.  Thank you Mr. Gates.