[Shotimes] Comedy Contest for the Convention

[van Oss]

I am asking for your ingenuity to help me put together a comic bit for the 
SHO convention.  PLEASE reply off-list.

Here's the premise:  We've talked a lot about gauges, placing them, teeing 
them in with idiot lights, etc.  Imagine the technology exists (perhaps it 
does) so that instead of moving needles or blinking lights at you, your car 
could communicate good or bad news by playing clips from TV or the movies. 
You're driving, a headlamp goes out, and your car says to you:  "You don't 
know the power of the dark side."   Or you powershift and the car says "This 
clutch will self-destruct in five seconds.  Good luck, Jim."   Or you press 
"Outside Temp" on an extreme day and your car shouts at you:  "The truth? 
You want the truth?  You can't handle the truth!"

I don't watch enough to do this on my own.  So below is a list of a few 
things your can might need or like to tell you.  Search your memories of 
great lines from pop culture, TV, movies, music, or advertising.  Send your 
ideas, no matter how off-beat, to me at vanOss@centurytel.net.  Tell me the 
moment, what the car is trying to say, the clip or quote, and what movie or 
show it's from.  Don't limit yourself to the SHO, think about car/driver 
communication.  If I incorporate your idea in the presentation you will get 
credit of course!

Here's a list just to get you started....
Lamp out...
Low or high [fluid] level, pressure, or temp...  oil, coolant, fuel, etc.
ABS or airbag system fault...  (or pass OK)
Low or high volts, amps, tire pressure, etc...
Redline or Rev limiter reached...
Seat belt not fastened...  Passenger airbag turned off (or on)...
Driver didn't pass in-dash breathalyzer...

Basically any dash button or indicator or any possible one that your 
imagination can provide.  You can see where this is going.  Put on your 
thinking caps and let's have some fun!

VO