The Official Car Advertisement Conversion Chart

Updated June, 1997

Official Car Advertisement Conversion Chart
How To Interpret Antique Car Ads
Rare modelNobody liked them when new, either
Older restorationCan't tell it's been restored
Needs engine workIts been frozen for 30 years
Uses no oilJust throws it out
No rustBody and fenders missing
RoughIt's too bad to lie about
One ownerNever been able to sell
No time to completeCan't find parts anywhere
Needs interiorSeats are gone
Rebuilt engineHas new spark plugs
May runBut never has
Low mileageThird time around
29 coats of handrubbed paintNeeded that much to cover the rust
CleanIt sat in the rain yesterday
Always driven slowlyAbout what I expect to get
Prize winnerHard luck trophy 3 times in a row
Stored 25 yearsUnder a tree
Real show stopperOrange with purple fenders
Easy restorationParts will come off in your hands
Ready to showJust washed it
Top goodOnly leaks when it rains
Good investmentCan't depreciate any more
By Steve Laifman
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