Scions Of Laughter
Web
|
Official
Car
Advertisement
Conversion
Chart
How To Interpret Antique Car Ads | |
| IF IT SAYS: | IT REALLY MEANS: |
| Rare model | Nobody liked them when new, either |
| Older restoration | Can't tell it's been restored |
| Needs engine work | Its been frozen for 30 years |
| Uses no oil | Just throws it out |
| No rust | Body and fenders missing |
| Rough | It's too bad to lie about |
| One owner | Never been able to sell |
| No time to complete | Can't find parts anywhere |
| Needs interior | Seats are gone |
| Rebuilt engine | Has new spark plugs |
| May run | But never has |
| Low mileage | Third time around |
| 29 coats of handrubbed paint | Needed that much to cover the rust |
| Clean | It sat in the rain yesterday |
| Always driven slowly | About what I expect to get |
| Prize winner | Hard luck trophy 3 times in a row |
| Stored 25 years | Under a tree |
| Real show stopper | Orange with purple fenders |
| Easy restoration | Parts will come off in your hands |
| Ready to show | Just washed it |
| Top good | Only leaks when it rains |
| Good investment | Can't depreciate any more |
| By Steve Laifman HTML by Paul Heuer | |
|
Scions Of Laughter |
British Cars Web
|