How Cold is it?

Reproduced without consent from the Moss Motors catalogue.
Updated June, 1997

How Cold Is It?
by Don Haugen
60 degrees FCalifornians put on their sweaters (if they can fine one in their waredrobe!).
50 degrees FMiami residents turn on their heat.
40 degrees FYou can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.
35 degrees FItalian cars won't start.
32 degrees FWater freezes.
30 degrees FYou plan your vacation to Austrailia. Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. English cars don't start.
25 degrees FBoston water freezes. Californians weep pitably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees FYou can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further south.
15 degrees FFrench cars don't start. You plan a vacation to Mexico. Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.
10 degrees FToo cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees FYou plan your vacation in Houston. American cars won't start.
0 degrees FAlaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.
-10 degrees FGerman cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 degrees FYou can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue in metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees FCat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don't start.
-25 degrees FToo cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 degrees FYou plan a two-week hot bath. The mighty Monogahela freezes. Swedish cars don't start.
-40 degrees FCalifornians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweater. Your cat helps you plan trip south.
-50 degrees FCongressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 degrees FHell freezes over. Polar bears move south.
-90 degrees FLawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
Contributed by R. Johnson - Dallas
HTML by Paul Heuer

Scions Of Laughter
British Cars Web