What Alpine drivers are really saying:
It's more important to have oil covering my garage floor than skin covering
my knuckles.
How you look going there is much more important than actually getting there.
I like lead in my panel joints, I like lead in my petrol and I'm sure there
was a third point but I can't concentrate so well anymore; it must be all
that sun on my brain.
Beauty is only skin deep.
As I turn the key the feeling of suspense tells me the ignition system was
designed by Alfred Hitchcock.
Tips for Alpine drivers:
The English phrase "Lucas Dynamo" translates into American as "fan-belt
tensioner".
If you hear a strange rattling sound coming from under the bonnet when you
pull up at the lights don't worry it just means the engine is still running.
If your Alpine is difficult to start; drive it really hard for the last 5
minutes of your trip and the run-on should have it still ticking over in the
morning.
Alpines are manual cars; if you want the car to be in a particular gear you
should be prepared to hold it in that gear.
When a stranger comes up and tells you you've got a great Triumph, slowly
back away smiling and avoid eye contact.
That isn't an oil leak it's your car's built-in year round chassis
anti-corrosion treatment.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Tue Sep 05 2000 - 09:28:04 CDT