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Re: Fw: Gawd... I get some GREAT mail

To: bricklin@autox.team.net, wingracer@email.msn.com
Subject: Re: Fw: Gawd... I get some GREAT mail
From: "K M" <symbiotic@hotmail.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Jan 1999 00:23:18 PST
Besides being an ardent Bricklin fixer-upper, I am also a skeptic, dues 
paying at times even.  Please, let's not turn our Bricklin email list, 
or for that matter, the Net, into a fora for spreading urban legends.  I 
am well versed in the area and many of the red flags flew with the 
posting.  I did a tiny bit of dejanews research and below is what I 
found.  Folks, it is up to all of us to not spread (unless it's spread 
with a caution that it is an urban legend) stories like this.  With 
many, many American citizens already believing in nonsense like 
astrology or ouiga boards, there just is little room for unexplained 
jokes.  Just my opinion, Kim.


Received the below e-mail yesterday.  It looked familiar, so I went
investigating.  The details are great, including names, dates, course
title, university.[1]   It is most definitely a UL.  It is not listed
in the FAQ, snopes or in any discussions on afu (according to
DejaNews).

Variations: The professor is a retiring Phys Chem professor "a bit
tired of it all."   Exam is alternatively a final or a take-home. The
grade awarded isn't always stated.  Girl's name "Theresa LeClair" or
"Therese Banyan".  Dates are changed (mainly to stay current).  Clever
student is not always named.

The final conclusion is recent.  

>This is a true story........
>
>The following is one of Dr. Schalmbaugh's Final Test questions for
>May 1997.  (Dr. Schalmbaugh, University of Oklahoma School of
>Chemical Engineering, is known for asking questions such as this on
>his final exams.)  The year I finished my undergrad, his one and only 
>final exam question was, "Why do airplanes fly?"
>
>May 1997, Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II Final Exam Question:
>"Is hell exothermic or endothermic?  Support your answer with truth."
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
>mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.  So, at
>what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls
>leaving?  I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
>hell, it will not leave.
>
>Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look
>at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of
>these  religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
>you  will  go to hell.  Since there are more than one of these
>religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>project that all people and all souls go to hell.  With birth and
>death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to
>increase exponentially.
>
>Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell.  Boyle's Law
>states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
>the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
>constant.
>
>Case 1: If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
>souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
>increase until all hell breaks loose.
>
>Case 2: If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
>souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
>freezes over.
>
>So which is it?  If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa
>Banyan during my freshman year, "it will be a cold night in hell
>before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still
>have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then case 2
>cannot be true.
>
>Thus, hell is exothermic.
>
>The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

Regards,
Diane "Business Major" Boettcher

[1] Professor Shambaugh (note the correct spelling) of the University
of Oklahoma had the following to say regarding the UL.

>(1) I do teach a course entitled "Heat, Mass, and Momentum Transfer 
II".
>However, the course is taught every fall, not in the spring.
>
>(2) My exams typically consist of only 2 or 3 questions.  Yes, they are
>difficult.
>
>(3) "Why airplanes fly" was indeed part of a previous exam.
>
>(4) I teach both graduate and undergraduate courses.
>
>(5) No, I never gave the question about hell.  (The question is 
actually
>more suited to a course in thermodynamics.)  

Adios, Diane
boet@omeganet.es
Looking for: Boettcher, Albaitis, Vosika, Kiaunis
Webpage Administrator for Genealogy Helplist MN, MI, PA
http://www.omeganet.es/~boet/hl/mn.htm (mi.htm) (pa.htm)


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