> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cochell, Jim [SMTP:Jim_Cochell@PenMetrics.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 1997 9:17 AM
> To: Beau Vencill; Bill Babcock; Biran Kiernan; Charlie Branch; Chris
> & Diane; Ellisa Valo; Gary Romans; Greg Cochell; John Longfield;
> Jonete; Kay and David; Kirk Wille; Mark Eustis; Mike Johnson; Mike
> Wille; Morgan Davie; Rita Cochell; Rollie Woodcock; Steve Garner;
> Warren Jordan
> Subject: The 10 Best Tools of All Time
>
>
> > 10 Best Tools of All Time
> >
> > Forget the Snap-On Tools truck; it has never been there when you
> need
> > it.
> > Besides there are only 10 things in this world you need to fix any
> > car, any
> > place, any time.
> >
> > 1.Duct Tape - Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in
> stickum
> > and
> > plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator hose, upholstery,
> > insulation, tow rope, and more - in an easy to carry package. Sure,
> > there's
> > prejudice surrounding duct tape in concours competitions, but in the
> > real
> > world, everything from LeMans-winning Porsches to Atlas rockets use
> it
> > by
> > the yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is a
> > quarter
> > and a phone booth.
> >
> > 2.Vise Grips - Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling
> wire
> > twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts and wiggle-it-til-it-falls-off
> > tool.
> > The heavy artillery of your tool box, vise grips are the only tool
> > designed
> > expressly to fix things screwed up beyond repair.
> >
> > 3.Spray Lubricants - A considerably cheaper alternative to new
> doors,
> > alternator, and other squeaky items. Slicker than pig phlegm,
> repeated
> > soakings will allow the main hull bolts of the Andrea Doria to be
> > removed
> > by hand. Strangely enough, an integral part of these sprays is the
> > infamous
> > Little Red Tube that flies out of the nozzle if you look at it cross
> > eyed
> > (one of the 10 _worst_ tools of all time).
> >
> > 4.Margarine Tubs with Clear Lids - If you spend all your time under
> > the hood
> > looking for a frendle pin that caromed off the pertal valve when you
> > knocked
> > both off the air cleaner, it's because you eat butter. Real
> mechanics
> > consume pounds of tasteless vegetable oil replicas just so they can
> > use the
> > empty tubs for parts containers afterward. (Some of course chuck the
> > butter-colored goo altogether or use it to repack wheel bearings.)
> > Unlike
> > air cleaners and radiator lips, margarine tubs aren't connected by a
> > time/space wormhole to the Parallel Universe of Lost Frendle Pins.
> >
> > 5.Big Rock at the Side of the Road - Block up a tire. Smack corroded
> > battery
> > terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop noisy know-it-all types on the
> > noodle.
> > Scientists have yet to develop a hammer that packs the raw banging
> > power of
> > granite or limestone. This is the only tool with which a "Made in
> > Malaysia"
> > emblem is not synonymous with the user's maiming.
> >
> > 6.Plastic Zip Ties - After 20 years of lashing down stray hose and
> > wiring
> > with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly slicked-up
> version
> > to
> > the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties can transform a hulking mass
> > of
> > amateur- quality wiring from a working model of the Brazilian Rain
> > Forest
> > into something remotely resembling a wiring harness. Of course it
> > works both
> > ways. When buying a used car, subtract $100 for each zip tie under
> the
> > hood.
> >
> > 7.Ridiculously Large Craftsman Screwdriver - Let's admit it. There's
> > nothing
> > better for prying, chiseling, lifting, breaking, splitting or
> > mutilating
> > than a huge flatbladed screwdriver, particularly when wielded with
> > gusto
> > and a big hammer. This is also the tool of choice for all filters so
> > insanely located that they can only be removed by driving a stake in
> > one
> > side and out the other. If you break the screwdriver--and you will
> > just like
> > Dad and your shop teacher said--who cares, it has a lifetime
> > guarantee.
> >
> > 8.Baling Wire - Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, baling wire
> > holds
> > anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like duct tape, it's not
> > recommended for concours contenders, since it works so well you'll
> > never
> > need to replace it with the right thing again. Baling wire is a
> > sentimental
> > favorite in some circles, particularly with the MG, Triumph, and
> > flathead
> > Ford set.
> >
> > 9.Bonking Stick - This monstrous tuning fork with devilish pointy
> ends
> > is
> > technically known as a tie-rod separator, but how often do you
> > separate
> > tie-rod ends? Once every decade if you're lucky. Other than medieval
> > combat,
> > its real use is the all-purpose application of undue force, not
> unlike
> > that
> > of the huge flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature doesn't know the bent
> > metal
> > panel or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand up to a good bonking
> > stick. (Can
> > also be use to separate tie-rod ends in a pinch, of course, but does
> a
> > lousy
> > job of it).
> >
> > 10.A Quarter and a Phone Booth - See tip #1 above
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