For the last 57 years, it's clear I've (a) been labouring under a
misconception and (b) have bought up my children with an entirely
false belief. I always thought (and often proved) that the old fella
visiting under cover of darkness was not only intuitive but telepathic
as well. Never really had any complaints - until this year.
Yesterday was almost like any other year. A splendid Stoneleigh Grey
plough lamp for the tractor and a most welcome gift from my doctor in
the form of a 13/16th cheese-head bolt, lockwasher and nut - gift
wrapped in an old Viagra packet. The bolt now resides in the centre of
the tractor seat pan and replaces another of its size but with a
hexangonal head of generous dimension. The downside was the hex head
found itself in precisely the wrong anatomical position when seated -
precipitating a semi-standing position known to sufferers of the
condition as "Ferguson Stoop."
I digress.
MG4305DL(O) will be going in for paint early in January and is largely
finished, so a swift blast to friends for lunch seemed to take the
form of standing orders for the day.To the distant call of a quickly
roasting turkey, the clutch was depressed, reverse selected - and we
moved out of the garage. Progress was rather faster than planned,
calling for a quick dab of the right foot on the middle pedal - only
to discover in the best CB parlance that "it was pedal to the metal -
ALL THE WAY." To make matters worse, the front end of the daily
driver, parked some way behind was approaching with a degree of
rapidity and at serious risk of being unnecessarily re-shaped.
Hauling on the handbrake worked, just - and a quick examination of the
garage floor indicated all was far from well with the near side rear
wheel cylinder and the master cylinder has a curiously empty look.
Mmmmmmmm.
Depress clutch, select first - return to garage and revert to daily
driver.
What I want to know is this.
Why the hell didn't that bearded blighter come up with what I needed
before I knew I needed it? He's always done this in previous years.
That's the trouble with things today - you just can't get properly
qualified and committed people. SC had better get his act
together before next year, otherwise he's likely to find an up-ended
bayonet in my hearth and not the customary glass of milk and biscuits
on the table alongside. If nothing else, it'll be a YO HO &*%"!!(*)
and he'll REALLY get to know two things through experience. The first
is what it's like to drive a Ferguson with a 13/16ths hex head holding
the seat in place and also the difficulties associated with stopping
Rudolf when he wants to.
Reminded me of a certain Christmas song promulgated by one Kevin
Wilson who I am sure is well-known to antipodean listers - along the
lines of, "Hey Santa Claus, you *** ! Where's my *** wheel cylinder?"
A very Happy New Year to all.
Jonmac
MG 4305 DLO 1970 Triumph 2.5PI, TED 152318 1950 Ferguson TED20
"The Devil. Has he been disadvantaged by a bad Press? Discuss."
IN THE SHADOW OF MY FATHER
http://www.toolbox.ndirect.co.uk/triumphbook
THE CROCUS AND A CORNFLOWER http://www.toolbox.ndirect.co.uk/crocus
The SLOW progress with 'Canley Girl':
http://www.toolbox.ndirect.co.uk/
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