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HITTING TOO CLOSE TO HOME !

To: saltracer@awwwsome.com, wspotter@jps.net, V4GR@aol.com, Nt788@aol.com,
Subject: HITTING TOO CLOSE TO HOME !
From: FastmetalBDF@aol.com
Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 19:37:51 EDT
  BENEFITS OF GROWING OLDER
  >  -------------------------
  >  - In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
  >  - It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
  >  - Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  >  - No one expects you to run into a burning building.
  >  - People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  >  - People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  >  - There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
  >  - Things you buy now won't wear out.
  >  - You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
  >  - You can eat dinner at 4:00
  >  - You can live without sex but not without glasses.
  >  - You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch
  > television.
  >  - You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
  >  - You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
  >  - You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
  >  - You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  >  - You got cable for the weather channel.
  >  - You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
  >  - You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  >  - You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
  > room.
  >  - You send money to PBS.
  >  - You sing along with the elevator music.
  >  - You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
  >  - Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
  >  - Your back goes out more than you do.
  >  - Your ears are hairier than your head.
  >  - Your eyes won't get much worse.
  >  - Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  >  - Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
  >  - Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
  them
  >    either.
  >  - Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  >  - People send you this list ...
  
 
 

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