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JUST PASSING THESE ALONG

To: land-speed@autox.team.net
Subject: JUST PASSING THESE ALONG
From: FastmetalBDF@aol.com
Date: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 19:33:24 EST
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone tells you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two
cents in, what happens to the other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread isn't
it?

10. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

11.  If a person who plays the piano is called a pianist why isn't a person
who drives a race car called a racist?

12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

14. Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety one"?

15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

19. What hair color do they put on the drivers' licenses of bald men?

20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're probably cramming for their
final exam.

21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks so I  wondered, what do Chinese mothers use -- Toothpicks?

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?  What are
we supposed to do, write to them?  Why not put their pictures on the stamps
and
mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?

23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

25. No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning.

26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The Mime next door went
nuts.

28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

29. Whatever happened to Preparation A through G?

30. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

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