Okay Doug sent this to me... thought it was funny but it truely lacks
understanding of the south.... so I thought I would embelish it a bit.... (
Hey Dan that means I am going to add to it so even ED can understand it )
Living in the South Means you shop at Wal-mart.... and if you can't build a
race car outta there and Lowe's it can't be built.... keeping in mind we all
have 8-10 cars in our front yard so the basic materials are available at
home....
Those Armstrong shocks ain't really out there cause these folks didn't import
British cars.... ( now if the brits had Pick-ups they might have been a
player)
I see nothing in these saying's bout Mud Racing....it's a favorite pass time
down here... goes with the Beer belly and racing.... and speaking of racing
... well we always have a contest at the races.... it's a spectator veiwing
contest.... Here are the basic's of the rules...
Ya sit in the stands and your group picks out the best Beer Belly of the
day.... Male and female catagory..... Best Hick of the Day ... Male and
female catagory..... Best Beard..... Male and Female catagory.... Best Hot
Pants of the day..... Female catagory.... ( you folks in Frisco can add the
male catagory to taste )
Read on enjoy.... Time to go load the race car trailer and see if I can't go
racing this afternoon.
Keith
----- Original Message -----
From: DOUG ODOM
To: TURK KEITH
Cc: Wilkins Dick ; Wester S Potter ; Villard Wayne ; Sandegren Jim ; Norlock
Mike ; Mickey Larry ; MAGNESS CAROL ; King Jermaine ; Horvath Donna @ David ;
Fortner Dave ; DRAKE JR. BILL AND INGER ; Barrett Glen
Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2001 11:45 PM
Subject: Southern sayings
> The Top FORTY Things You Will NEVER Hear A Southern
> Boy Say:
>
> 40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
> 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
> 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a
>
> family sedan.
> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
> 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it just not\
> safe.
> 30. Wrestling's fake.
> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> 28. We're vegetarians.
> 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
> 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of
> biscuits and gravy.
> 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
> 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
> 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
> 21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
> 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
> 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
> 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
> 15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
> 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
> 12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>
> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl
> party.
> 10. "Little Debbie" snack cakes have too many fat
> grams.
> 9. Checkmate.
> 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
> 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we
> haven't seen.
> 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
> 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
> 3. You All.
> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>
> AND, NUMBER ONE IS:
> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
///
/// land-speed@autox.team.net mailing list
/// To unsubscribe send a plain text message to majordomo@autox.team.net
/// with nothing in it but
///
/// unsubscribe land-speed
///
///
|