I know this isn't LSR related,but thought the list might get a kick out
of it.
At a recent expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1000 miles per gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating: "If
GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:"
1. For no reason whatever. your car would crash twice a day. 2.
Everytime they painted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a
new car. 3. Sometimes your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all windows, shut
off the
car, restart it, and reopen all the windows before you could
continue. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to
reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the
car unless you bought "Car NT", but then you would have to buy more
seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would only run
on five
percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and
alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General
Protection Fault." 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt. 9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before
deploying.10. Occasionally your car would lock you out and refuse to let
you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key and grabbed ahold of the radio antenna.11. GM would require all
car buyers to purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (a GM subsidiary) even though they neither
need
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would cause the
car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Morover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Department.12. Every time
GM introduced a new car, buyers would have to learn all over again
how to drive, because none of the car's controlls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.13. You'd have to press the "Start"
button to turn the engine off.
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