NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED
Investigators at a major research institute have discovered
the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery
has been tentatively named "ADMINISTRATIUM" (Ad)
This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an
atomic number of ZERO. It does, however, have one neutron,
125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are
held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However,
it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
Administratium causes one reaction to take more than four days to
complete when it would normally take less that one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three
years. It does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in
which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant
vice neutrons exchange places.
In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase
over time since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably
become neutrons, forming new isotopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"the critical morass".
You will know it when you see it.
///
/// land-speed@autox.team.net mailing list
/// To unsubscribe send a plain text message to majordomo@autox.team.net
/// with nothing in it but
///
/// unsubscribe land-speed
///
///
|