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I believe this to be true, if not Texans are known liars anyway. This might
apply to Keith as he had to drive through Texas and is known to pick up all
bad habits, blue haired freaks,smelly teddy bears and wears purple suits with
yeller overtones. William will back me up on this.
Glen LOL
----- Original Message -----
From: Erdean Woodside
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Thursday, December 27, 2001 4:12 PM
Subject: TEXAS
TEXAS
As a Texan I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my 25
years of living in this Heaven on Earth located South of the Red River and
North of the Rio Grande. I can personally attest to the following points as
being true.
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep".
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas and probably a half
dozen species or more in your own backyard.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
Armadillos love to dig holes under all bedding plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
Pecan is pronounced "puhcon".
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Texas has 6 seasons: Spring, Feb 16 to April 15 Summer, April 16 to July 15
(temp 90 to 98 degrees) Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115
degrees) Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees) Fall, Oct 2 to Dec.
1 Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
The wind blows at 90 MPH (THIS IS EXCESSIVE) from Oct. 2 until July 15, then
it stops totally. (This does not apply to West Texas.)
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic and they multiply even faster than
rabbits.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat Okra - - and what's more, they like it.
Texans really don't have an accent - it's the rest of the world that talks
funny.
When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
Green grass DOES burn, as does your skin if you don't run fast enough to the
next shade tree.
When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop
them off at your gate in the middle of the night, Cats come and go as they
please.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of
weeks. After that, you don't even notice them anymore.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
doctor.
A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation and is
drinkable to most of the livestock. And the Fish and Game Dept. will help
you stock them and then they make good fishin' and swimmin' holes too.
"Bakards and Forards" means I know everything about a subject or the way to go
if you're giving directions.
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You
work until you're done or it's too dark to see. Then you get up the next
morning before it's light enough to see, and start over.
Opossum is pronounced "possum" and resembles a big hairless rat.
"Fixnto" is one word - - and probably one of the most used words in the true
Texan's vocabulary.
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