mgs
[Top] [All Lists]

Laws for British Sports Cars

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: Laws for British Sports Cars
From: "BILL SCHOOLER" <bschooler@uhd2.uhd.com>
Date: Mon, 23 Dec 1996 16:32:53 EST
Perhaps it's appropriate to restate some of the time-proven laws 
concerning LBCs.....w/ thanks to Moss Motors who published the entire 
list some years ago......  

THE LAW OF PECULIAR RANDOM NOMENCLATURE

The name of a British Sports Car shall consist primarily of letters 
and numbers, with said letters and numbers chosen in random fashion 
so that the resultant vehicle name is wholly devoid of meaning.

THE LAW OF CRYPTIC INSTRUCTIONS

Any book, manual, pamphlet, or text dealing with the maintenance, 
repair, or restoration of a British Sports Car shall be written so 
that at least every fourth word will be unknown to the average 
reader.  In the event that any portion of the text is understandable, 
the information contained therein shall be incorrect.

THE LOVE OF HARDSHIP LAW

The more a British Sports Car malfunctions, breaks, and/or falls 
apart, the more endearing it becomes to the owner.

THE LAW OF NON-FUNCTIONAL ATTRIBUTES

All British Sports Cars, regardless of condition or age, shall always 
have at least one system or sub-system of components which is 
entirely non-functional, and cannot be repaired except on a 
semi-permanent or semi-functional basis. 

THE COMPONENT FAILURE LAW (my personal favorite)

Any component of a British Sports Car which is entirely unknown to 
the owner shall function perfectly, until such time that the owner
becomes aware of the component's existence, when it shall instantly 
fail.

Merry Christmas!

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>
  • Laws for British Sports Cars, BILL SCHOOLER <=