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Re: Restoration Humor

To: MG List <mgs@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Re: Restoration Humor
From: Jason <jason.sawyer@ibm.net>
Date: Sat, 17 Jan 1998 20:55:33 -0800
I got this from one of the monthly Volkswagen newsletters that I get. This one
was from "Wolfsburg West."

Forwarded by Jason:

> > MURPHY'S LAW . . . AND VINTAGE CARS
> >
> >  1.Never fix anything that is not broken.
> >  2.The nut or bolt which is the most difficult to reach
> >    will always be stripped or seized.
> >  3.No tool will ever be found again, once it is put down.
> >  4.Nothing will ever go back together in the reverse
> >    way it was dismantled.
> >  5.One last pull on a nut or bolt, to make sure it is
> >    tight, will always strip it, or snap it off, but if it
> >    doesn't get that extra pull it will always loosen and
> >    fall off.
> >  6.Bright, clean and new parts are always defective, but
> >    dirty, greasy old ones work fine unless they are cleaned
> >    when they will not work either.
> >  7.During a roadside repair, with the wrong parts being
> >    used, the fit will be perfect and the repair permanent.
> >  8.A prospective purchaser, attempting to start the car,
> >    will usually cause ignition failure and/or flooding of
> >    the carburetor.
> >  9.If a part is carried as a spare, it can either never
> >    be found or will not fit when it is needed, and if the
> >    spare comes in different sizes of  lefts or rights, the
> >    one you need is not the one you have.
> > 10.If, when removing an irreplaceable nut or bolt, it
> >    is dropped on a spotlessly clean floor, it will be heard
> >    to hit the floor and then vanish forever.
> > 11.Any tool dropped while working on your car will
> >    automatically roll to the geographical center under the
> >    car.
> > 12.The probability of a car starting is inversely
> >    proportional to the number of people standing nearby
> >    watching.
> > 13.The probability of paint running is directly
> >    proportional to the degree of prominence of the panel
> >    being painted.
> > 14.A tire will only go flat when the jack or wheel brace
> >    has been left at home.
> > 15.Any starter motor/generator will work perfectly when
> >    bench tested. It will only cease to function once it has
> >    been fitted to the car.
> > 16.When you double check everything prior to a run, you
> >    stand a greater chance of running out of fuel.
> > 17.No matter what fails on you car there is always
> >    someone who knew it would.
> > 18.Carrying an extra pair of plugs, points, coil and
> >    condenser will usually result in a broken fan belt.
> > 19.The later you leave home after a rally, the greater
> >    the chance of failure of the lighting system.
> > 20.The possibility of a mudguard being scratched is
> >    directly proportional to the time spent polishing it.
> > 21.The best way to locate a part in better condition
> >    is to send the one you have to a professional restorer
> >    for chrome plating.
> > 22.No matter how rare the accessory, there is always
> >    someone's uncle who had one just like it.
> > 23.Start one small repair job and it will lead to many
> >    more larger problems.
> >
> > ...hope you enjoyed...Aloha,   Gary
> > Restoration Humor




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