Hey Bill... good post. aside from telling the cop "It's Friday, and it's
nice outside", here's some things to remember NOT to say to the
Constable-On-Patrol who pinches you...
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I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Say... Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doing about 125 to keep up with me! Good job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.
I was going to become a cop, but decided to finish high school.
I bet it feels good standing up and walking off those doughnuts, huh?
Uhhh... You're not going to check my trunk are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand!
So, uh, are you on the take or what?
Gee, Officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
Do I know why you pulled me over? Why, don't you?
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained expert!
I was going fast because I was on my way to your sister's house, and I only
have a half hour.
Hell, I couldn't have been doin' 80 mph, I ain't been out an hour.
Hey, can you give me one of those full body cavity searches?
Well, it wasn't my fault. When I reached to pick up my bag of crack, my gun
fell off my lap and became wedged between the gas pedal and the break
pedal, forcing me
to speed out of control.
Dave Iwansky
'62 MGA 1600 MkII
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