mgs
[Top] [All Lists]

More OT Legal, but funny...

To: mgs@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: More OT Legal, but funny...
From: dresden@tiac.net
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1998 17:21:16 -0500 (EST)
Well, you all might have heard that I plan on pursuing law as well, but I
like the inanities of the law as well as anyone...here's what all that
training in logic and oration amount to sometimes...


>>>>      >> From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're
>things
>>>>      >> people actually said in court, word for word.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: What is your date of birth?
>>>>      >> A: July fifteenth.
>>>>      >> Q: What year?
>>>>      >> A: Every year.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>>>>      >> A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>>>>      >> A: Yes.
>>>>      >> Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>>>      >> A: I forget.
>>>>      >> Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
>>>you've
>>>>      >> forgotten?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: How old is your son the one living with you.
>>>>      >> A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>>>>      >> Q: How long has he lived with you?
>>>>      >> A: Forty-five years.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
>woke
>>>>      >>that morning?
>>>>      >> A:  He said "Where am I, Cathy?"
>>>>      >> Q: And why did that upset you?
>>>>      >> A: My name is Susan.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: And where was the location of the accident?
>>>>      >> A: Approximately milepost 499.
>>>>      >> Q: And where is milepost 499?
>>>>      >> A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
>>>>      >> A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
>>>>      >> A: After the accident?
>>>>      >> Q: Before the accident.
>>>>      >> A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it. >
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the
>>>>      voodoo
>>>>      >>or occult?
>>>>      >> A: We both do.
>>>>      >> Q: Voodoo?
>>>>      >> A: We do.
>>>>      >> Q: You do?
>>>>      >> A: Yes, voodoo.
>>>>      >>-----------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and
>>>blue
>>>>      >> lights flashing?
>>>>      >> A: Yes.
>>>>      >> Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? >
>>>>      >> A: Yes, sir.
>>>>      >> Q: What did she say?
>>>>      >> A: What disco am I at?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>>>sleep,
>>>>      he
>>>>      >> doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Did he kill you?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>>>>      >> A: Yes.
>>>>      >> Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
>>>>      >> A: Yes.
>>>>      >> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't
>>>>      you?
>>>>      >> A: I went to Europe, Sir.
>>>>      >> Q: And you took your new wife?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Can you describe the individual?
>>>>      >> A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>>>>      >> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
>>>to?
>>>>      >>  A: Oral.
>>>>      >>--------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>>>>      >>--------------------------------------------------
>>>>      >> Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
>>>>      >> A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
>>>>      >>---------------------------------------------------
>



<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>
  • More OT Legal, but funny..., dresden <=