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Secret to Lucas

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: Secret to Lucas
From: Tab Julius <tab@penworks.com>
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 08:28:47
I was looking for some info on MGB wiring and came across this on a site
(http://kurtz.tcimet.net/humor/f/truth.html).  Probably half of you have
seen it, but for the rest...

-----------
Basic Truth

By A. N. Other 

The chairman of the Palomar Repeater Club, an amateur radio group, has
discovered what makes integrated circuits work. He says that smoke is the
thing that makes ICs work, because every time you let the smoke out of an
IC, it stops working. He claims to have verifies this with thorough testing. 

I was flabbergasted! Of course! Smoke makes all thinks electrical work.
Remember the last time smoke escaped from your Lucas voltage regulator?
Didn't it quit working? I sat and smiled like an idiot as more of the truth
dawned. It's the wiring harness that carries the smoke from one device to
another in your mini or MG. And when the harness springs a leak, it lets
the smoke out of everything at once and then nothing works. The starter
motor requires large quantities of smoke to operate properly. That's why
the wire going to it is so big. 

Feeling very smug, I continued to expand my hypothesis. Why are Lucas
electronics more likely to leak than, say Bosch, earning Lord Lucas the
sobriquet "The prince of darkness"? Hmmm. AHA!! Lucas is British. Things
British always leak! British convertible tops always leak water. British
engines leak oil. British tires leak air. And the British government leaks
defence secrets. Naturally British electronics leak smoke!
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