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Re: No LBC - beware synthetic oil

To: Robert Duquette <RobertDuquette@Sympatico.ca>
Subject: Re: No LBC - beware synthetic oil
Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2000 16:50:36 -0500
Cc: Spridgets <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Organization: Jay Quinn
References: <002301c00a26$d2520700$b6f4acce@b1pxof71>
Sound like he needs to lay off the sauce and get a life because Synthetic rules
supreme, All Hail Synthetic Oil!

Robert Duquette wrote:

> And we thought Allen had too much time!!!  :)
>
> Robert D.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Philip S Jones <pkj@eskimo.com>
> To: Spridgets <Spridgets@autox.team.net>
> Date: August 19, 2000 5:12 PM
> Subject: No LBC - beware synthetic oil
>
> >My brother sent this to me from the (Kawasaki) Concours Owners Group.  No
> >LBC, but I think we can still appreciate it.
> >
> >>
> >> >From the R1 list, where a debate has been raging about oil types...
> >>
> >>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 14:52:05 -0600
> >>From: "Michael J
> >>Subject: Beware synthetic oil
> >>
> >>Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your beloved
> >>motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can
> >put
> >>it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping
> >>debris and dirt into your lubrication system.  It also will make every
> part
> >>of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain
> >>dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to
> >>retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground!  But that's not
> >>all...
> >>
> >>Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will
> >also
> >>splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of
> >a
> >>turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight
> >>window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive
> >>that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will
> >>completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and
> >>die.
> >>
> >>Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will
> >>give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on
> >>and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing
> >>your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near
> >>police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will
> >>lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your
> >valves
> >>to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes
> the
> >>clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of
> your
> >>riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
> >>
> >>While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
> >>handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
> >>with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your
> >>studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty
> by
> >>changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch
> >>and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in
> >>the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry
> >>wasp in your helmet for good measure.
> >>
> >>Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs.
> >>Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two
> >>sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it
> >to
> >>the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic
> >>oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign
> >>your name at the bottom!
> >>
> >>Mike
> >>
> >
> >
> >


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