This is coming from a happily married man of 28 years!
Wife 1.0 Just Released
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new
space and valuable resources.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In
addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you
please help me !!!??? Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
------------------------------------------------------------
Dear TROUBLED USER,
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-
Alimony/Child support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation. I suggest
installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software
augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you
read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You
must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any
case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to
give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install
Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife
1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of Luck, Tech Support
John Poynton
Social Studies Department
Girls Track Coach
Academy Park High School
Sharon Hill PA 19079
teachjp@aol.com
610-522-4330 ext 143
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