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The Dark Prince

To: "tigers@autox.team.net" <tigers@autox.team.net>
Subject: The Dark Prince
From: Steven Laifman <av342@lafn.org>
Date: Sun, 28 Jul 1996 11:33:03 +0100
Speaking of Lucas,

I've have just finished reading the 1928 Engineering Standards Manual 
for design engineering, Lucas Works.  It explains electrical theory to 
the new engineers, and serves as a guide for all design standards.

One part that caught my eye was the chapter on "Theorey of Electrical 
Machinery".  It stated, in part, that "All electrical equipment operates 
by the flow of condensed charged grey particles throught the circuitry 
components and through the interconnecting wiring and relays. This grey 
substance was mistakenly called "phlogistan" by the alchemists.  Since 
we have recently sold our Alchemy Division to ICI (Imperial Chemical 
Industries), we now longer have rights to this theorey.  That is 
perfectly acceptable, as our Engineering Superintendent, Sir Malcolm 
Buggeridge, of Cirquit, has recently released his findings to the Royal 
Colegium of Physicists.  In part it relates that this grey material is 
not phlogistan, but smoke.  All electrical equipment runs on smoke.  It 
will always work as designed, unless you let the smoke get out.  Then, 
of course, nothing works.  We, at Lucas, are therefore charged with the 
responsibility of designing all our equipment to retain smoke under all 
adverse conditions.  All designs will be submitted to our Smoke 
Verfication Test Criteria, headed by our plumbing department, before 
acceptance for production.  All design elements will henceforth be 
primarily constructed with smoke retention factors of 2 or more, 
regardless of weight, heat, cost, beauty, elegance, or design 
improvements."

                                                                                
                                The Management

Well, I quess I understand know. (;.

Steve 
-- 
Steve Laifman         < Find out what is most     >
B9472289              < important in your life    >
                      < and don't let it get away!>

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