Venerarable Maharishi Jeff,
I have contemplated your question by the Ancient Mystic Rite of
Omphaloscopsis, and have Divined the ANSWER!
Your soul is in torment from some deep anguish. This prevents your inner
child from having any driving skills inherited from past incarnations.
This lack of skill causes your current habitat to wander, excessively,
seeking peace. This wandering prevents you from seeing the TRUTH, and
causes you to be unable to park in the same place twice. Hence, the
apparent randomness of the oil drops are but a consistent leak from one
of your orifices, placed in your random parking pattern.
I am sure a good long pull on the Milk Of Magnesia elixir will cure your
Peace On You, Brother.
The Transcendental Steve
Steve Laifman < Find out what is most >
B9472289 < important in your life >
< and don't let it get away!>
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