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Re: Kluge job

To: "Larry Wright" <lrw@aop.com>, "Tigerlist *" <tigers@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Re: Kluge job
From: "Chris Richards" <richards@northcoast.com>
Date: Wed, 3 Jun 1998 10:10:22 -0400
Larry-  One of the most imformative postings I've read in quite a while. 
I'm glad somewone out there is doing there historic homework.

Kind Regards-Chris in Trinidad

----------
> From: Larry Wright <lrw@aop.com>
> To: Tigerlist * <tigers@autox.team.net>
> Subject: Kluge job
> Date: Tuesday, June 02, 1998 1:38 PM
> 
>       I had inquired earlier about the origin of the phrase "cluge (kluge)
job";
> well, not seeing a _satisfactory_ answer, I did a little checking...
> 
>       It turns out that we've been mis-spelling it all along, and that the
story
> involves, believe it or not, Sunbeam cars.  It turns out that Desmond J.
> Kludge worked in the engineering department of Sunbeam around the turn of
> the century; ever see pictures of the Sunbeam-Mabley cars? Desmond was
the
> third son of Ian, 12th Earl of Kludge, whose family had been there so
long
> that the earldom (somewhere in the Midlands but cannot find it on the
map)
> had taken the family name.
>       Alas, poor Desmond seemed to have no aptitudes whatsoever. Rebuffed by
> Sandhurst military academy, the Church of England, and the House of
> Commons, the Earl secured a position for Desmond with Sunbeam, who placed
> him in the engineering department.
>       Young Kludge did not appear to have a knack for engineering, either. One
> of his first projects was to mount the fenders on a new model. A visit to
> the storeroom for rod stock to make fender (wing) brackets, resulted in
> Desmond picking up a box marked "rod stock" which instead contained long
> coil springs intended for a nearby screen-door manufacturer. Not clear on
> the difference, he mounted these upwards from the frame to the fenders,
> with the result that when the car was driven the fenders flopped about
and
> even got wrapped about the axle. Back in the shop, Kludge attached more
> springs; down from the top of the body, between the front and rear
fenders,
> even up from a boss on the wheel bearing dust cap. Thus, the fenders
> gyrations were controlled, sort of, although the springs made a fair
amount
> of distracting "boing-boing" noises when underway. The Production Manager
> was pressed for time to deliver the cars, which were shipped as-is.
>       Bodywork being obviously beyond Desmond's abilities, he was put to work
> under the cars, where it was felt that he could do less harm. Making the
> leather gaiter to cover the clutch assembly, he cut the leather too
short;
> it turned out to be the last piece in the shop. Casting about for some
> other material, he saw the remains of his lunch. His fish-and-chips had
com
> wrapped in newspaper, which had become soaked in the oils from the fish
and
> become rather flexible, so he laced in a section to bridge between the
> leather and the engine housing. Upon delivery of the car, the newspaper
> held up only until driven on the first muddy road, where it ripped. The
> dirt-caked clutch failed almost immediately, even within the confines of
> the 5-day/500-mile warranty and replaced at Sunbeam's expense-- an
> experience that did not make the management happy, especially as Kluge's
> method had been copied by young apprentices for the entire production run
> of twelve cars.
>       Soon after, our ersatz engineer hit upon an idea for an improvement to
the
> chain drive. Finding the master links hard to use, and figuring that
> customers in the field would think the same, decided to employ a more
> familiar technology: wood and nails. A pair of blocks bracketing the
chain
> were secured by nails driven through them and the last links at the ends
of
> the chain. It worked, after a fashion, if one could tolerate the cyclical
> "thump" as the blocks passed over the sprockets. The fact that the blocks
> could be replaced in-the-field by anyone with a hammer was little
> compensation for the fact that it was necessary to do so every few miles.
> Fortunately, only half-a-dozen Sunbeams were made with the ICA (Improved
> Chain Attachment) before discovery, and Desmond was found work where he
> didn't get anywhere _near_ the cars.
>       Shortly, the rest of Sunbeam's engineering staff attended the Royal Auto
> show, and were strolling among the displays where they happened upon a
> feature on one displayed car they disapproved of; point it out, the Chief
> Engineer stated "that looks like a Kludge job". The surrounding guests
from
> the engineering staffs of the other manufacturers did not want to admit
> being unfamiliar with the term, and thus started calling every haphazard
> mechanical solution with those words.
>       After leaving Sunbeam, the whereabouts of Desmond Kludge are a mystery,
> although there were rumours of his presence in the French aircraft
industry
> in the 1930's. Perhaps more about his later exploits will surface later;
> maybe even you know some anecdote about Kludge yourself. Collected, they
> might make for an interesting Kludge web page.
>       
> Lawrence R. Wright
> "Top that, Steve"
> lrw@aop.com

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