There is a Ford in here somewhere
> -----
>
>
>
> .....INTO MALE/FEMALE COMMUNICATION.....
> Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
>
> He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.
> A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
> themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a
> while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
>
> And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
> Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you
> realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly
> six months?''
>
> And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very
> loud silence. She thinks to herself: Gee, I wonder if it bothers him
> that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our
> relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of
> obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
>
> And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
> relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so
> I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going
> the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we
> going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of
> intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a
> lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I
> really even know this person?
>
> And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see. ...
> February when we started going out, which was right after I had the
> car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . .
> Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe
> I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
> relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed --
> even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes,
> I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about
> his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
>
> And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the
> transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not
> shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold
> weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this
> thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent
> thieves $600.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be
> angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't
> help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
>
> And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
> warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the rats.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
> knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right
> next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person
> I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A
> person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
> fantasy.
>
> And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them
> a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ....
> ''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud. ''What?'' says Roger, startled.
>
> ''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes
> beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . . I feel
> so . . ." (She breaks down, sobbing.)
>
> ''What?'' says Roger.
>
> ''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight.
> I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no
> horse.''
>
> ''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
>
> ''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
>
> ''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
>
> ''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine
> says.
>
> (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,
> tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one
> that he thinks might work.)
>
> ''Yes,'' he says.
>
> (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
>
> ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
>
> ''What way?'' says Roger.
>
> ''That way about time,'' says Elaine.
>
> ''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
>
> (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him
> to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
> involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
>
> ''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
>
> ''Thank you,'' says Roger.
>
> Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
> tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to
> his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately
> becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two
> Czechs he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind
> tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but
> he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and
> so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also
> Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
>
> The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
> them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
> In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and
> everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every
> word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering
> every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this
> subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any
> definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
>
> Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual
> friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and
> say:
>
> ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''
>
>
>
|