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Car-O-Scope

To: katiek@spss.com
Subject: Car-O-Scope
From: JD_Kemp@notes.ymp.gov
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 1999 08:08:56 -0800

Dear Katie, and Team.Net:

I was gonna pull the cable out of the wall, and discontinue my internet service,

but since I see everybody else got similar results and yet was brave enough to
share them with Team.Net, I guess I can too.  The Oracle (or was that
"Sphincter"?) at
Car-O-Scope has spoken to me, and said I had picked the almost perfect car in
Lucretia.

The Oracle did, however, take exception to my "frugality" and say that was a
problem as far as
owning an MG.  (I didn't even tell 'em about the modified TR6 saybar on the
front, and the home
made tube shock conversion, or the racing seat I bartered for changing the oil
in a certain Jag.)
The Oracle suggested the following:

1. Dodge Colt Vista      (Gasp!)
2. Chevrolet K2500       (That wouldn't be a bad tow vehicle.)
3. Peugeot 505           (A FRENCH car?  They gotta be smokin' sumpin!)
4. BMW 528          (That wouldn't be bad on cold days.)
5. Nissan King Cab  (Uhhh, maybe)

And ahyhoo, if the problem is my "frugality" (I call myself a cheapskate!) then
why would I want a
Peugeot or a Bimmer????  BUT, the horrible, obscene, totally offensive part of
the message was
(Moms, cover your children's eyes) when the Car-O-Scope actually said I should
"dump the MG."
HOW DARE THEY!!!!!

I'm contacting my legal counsel, the firm of Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe for advice
 on suing the
Oracle for punitive damages estimated at $5 million for the trauma, the
humiliation, and the shock
to my delicate system.

JD Kemp &
"Lucretia MacEvil" #13 MGB



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