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Re: For those in England: NonLBC way of life question. VeryImportant

To: Matt Pringle <pringlmm@mcmaster.ca>, Michael Graziano <mgrazian@ltcm.com>,
Subject: Re: For those in England: NonLBC way of life question. VeryImportant
From: "James H. Nazarian" <microdoc@apk.net>
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999 18:14:50 -0400
Shame on yourself pringle.

After you walk through New York's Central Park at night, let me hear you 
sermonize
to your muggers about how unfair they were to you for depriving you of your 
right to
jeopardize your life. After they stop laughing at you, go to the police and 
file a
complaint for assault, robbery, mugging and hurting your simple minded 
feelings. The
cops in New York can always use a good laugh, but I doubt they will have time to
lecture you about how stupid you were to take that walk. A little common sense 
goes
a long way. Unless you want to be mugged you do not walk through Central Park at
night.  Granny said, "Don't sleep in the guy's apartment, drink with him, get 
alone
with him, then wonder why he made an advance." Maybe he thought she was making 
an
advance on him. Your granny was right, you should listen to her advise... and 
if you
have a daughter tell her the same. As far as your soap box, "Shame on you for 
not
storing MG parts in it. Get real bub, this is the nineties. Better for a woman 
to
avoid rape than to protest the violation to her rights after it has occurred. 
That's
called "street smart".

Jim

Matt Pringle wrote:

> Shame on you.  Mike asks for advice and support from a group of people
> he would consider friends and you have the nerve to suggest:
>
> 1) It is easy for woman to come forward with charges of abuse
>
> 2) She is just as much at fault for being in the stairwell as he is for
> pushing himself on her.
>
> 3) That this man's girlfriend was pursuing this relationship as more
> than a friendship.
>
> 4) That she gave suggestive signals.
>
> This is the 1990's my friend, we as a society don't subscribe to these
> falicies any more.  I suggest you talk to your
> sister/daughter/grand-daughter and ask her to enlighten you.
>
> Shame on you.
>
> Matt
>
> James H. Nazarian wrote:
> >
> > Mike,
> >
> > Sorry to eavesdrop on your e-mail... I failed to look at the subject
> > before
> > reading it. You (and your girlfriend) have a responsibility to hold your
> > tongue(s). You don't know what happened, because you weren't there. If
> > you
> > choose to believe the girlfriend, that is your choice. In this country,
> > a mere
> > accusation of this kind can become a character assassination and
> > terribly
> > expensive for his defense even if he is found innocent. Then I hope he
> > would sue
> > his false accuser for irreparable harm to his good name and reputation.
> >
> > "Filing" a complaint as a precaution against it happening again ignores
> > the fact
> > that this is what motivates the legal/police business to prosecute and
> > convict
> > innocent people... money. If you really want to document it, have her
> > write a
> > statement, seal it in an envelope, and have the postal service put a
> > date stamp
> > over the seam of the flap. Then store it safely away. You can even send
> > him a
> > copy.
> >
> > Since you have known and trusted him, maybe you should call him on the
> > phone and
> > have a friendly chat about it before you jump the gun and make a false
> > accusation. This will also serve him notice that you know what she said.
> > If you
> > were ready to go there to "kill the SOB", surely you can muster the
> > eloquence to
> > advise him to stay away from her, including to not confront her about
> > telling
> > you. This would be for his own good too. Always bear in mind that it is
> > easy for
> > a woman to make such an accusation, including as a cover-up to something
> > she
> > did. It is very difficult to stop the ball once it gets rolling.
> >
> > In common sense 101, she should have learned to avoid situations like
> > being
> > alone in a stairwell with a stranger. Just as he has a responsibility to
> > leave
> > her alone, she has a responsibility to avoid giving suggestive signals.
> > You too
> > should hope that he isn't murdered during your next visit to London,
> > 'cause you
> > just told 500 people you are pondering killing someone. Yikes! I
> > wouldn't want
> > to be in your shoes.
> >
> > Don't play with dynamite if you don't like loud noises.
> >
> > Jim
> >
> > PS: I fail to see the connection here with MG's, other than one man
> > asking for
> > advice from some others. Good luck my friend.
> >
> > Michael Graziano wrote:
> >
> > > Hey folks.
> > >
> > > I have a little news that's bothering me to no end.  In fact,  I'm quite
> > > upset.
> > >
> > > My girlfriend is currently going to school in London.  I'm stuck here in 
>the
> > > states.
> > >
> > > She called me more than a little upset Saturday night (3:30 am your time)
> > > that one of her friends, someone I actually know and whom we both trusted,
> > > trapped her in the stairwell of her apartment house and forced himself on
> > > her.  Mainly just kissing, but a little more as well.  She escaped by 
>first
> > > kneeing him at the first opportunity, and then running into her apartment.
> > > THe advances were unwanted and unprovoked.  He was a little drunk.
> > >
> > > After my initial reaction (which was to start making plans to fly to
> > > London),  I realized that no good could come of it.  Being arrested in a a
> > > foreign land is not what I had in mind for this week.  My next thought was
> > > for her to report him to the police and file a complaint.  Maybe not file
> > > charges, but at least have it on record in case he tries something else.
> > > Letting him know a report was filed might be a future deterent.  Wini, my
> > > GF, doesn't think that will do any good.  She is of the opinion that 
>things
> > > of this nature are taken lightly by the police constables.
> > >
> > > What is your the general opinion on this matter.  What steps can we take
> > > short of my killing the son-of-a-bitch?  I promised her I would do nothing
> > > until i spoke with her,  but doing nothing is eating me up inside.
> > >
> > > Mike


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